forgiving is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.
It is common for a male rape victim to blame himself for the rape, believing that he in some way consented to being raped (Brochman, 1991). Male rape victims suffer a similar fear that female rape victims face: people will believe the myth that they may have asked for it in some way or enjoyed being raped. Some men may believe they were not raped or that they consented because they became sexually aroused, had an erection, or ejaculated during the sexual assault. These are normal, involuntary physiological reactions. It does not mean that consent was given or that the victim wanted to be raped or sodomized. Sexual arousal does not mean consent was given.
According to researcher Groth, some assailants may try to get their victim to ejaculate because for the rapist, it symbolizes their complete sexual control over their victim’s body. Since ejaculation is not always within conscious control but rather an involuntary physiological reaction, rapists frequently succeed at getting male victims to ejaculate. As Groth and Burgess have found in their research, this aspect of the attack is extremely stressful and confusing to the victim. In misidentifying ejaculation with orgasm, the victim may be bewildered by his physiological response during the sexual assault and, therefore, may be discouraged from reporting the assault for fear his sexuality may become suspect (Groth & Burgess, 1980).
Another major concern facing male rape victims is society’s belief that men should be able to protect themselves and, therefore, it is somehow their fault that they were raped. The experience of a rape may affect gay and heterosexual men differently. Most rape counselors point out that gay men have difficulties in their sexual and emotional relationships with other men and think that the assault occurred because they are gay, whereas straight men often begin to question their sexual identity and are more disturbed by the sexual aspect of the assault than the violence involved (Brochman, 1991).
